It’s never worth it, giving someone your heart. Giving them the ability to hurt you. Trusting they won’t. 

There’s this guy I’m talking to right now, and to be honest…I know it could never work out. So needless to say I’m keeping it a friend with benefits sorta thing. And to be honest that’s all I really want. I’ve been too hurt to want a commited relationship. I just don’t believe in all that I love you stuff at this age, not anymore at least.

But if I did, this guy would be perfect, and I wish I could actually have feelings for him but I can’t. My mind literally won’t allow it. And I mean, I guess it’s a good thing because I won’t allow myself to be vunerable…and like I said, the us being together is completely unrealistic…but what if it wasn’t? Would I feel differently? Probably not. Ugh, I’m so jaded.

All I want to do now is have the upper hand, I’ve learned it’s much easier to be the heartbreaker then the heartbreakee. And that’s how I’ve learned to play a very dangerous game.